Treat Me Right

Welcome back. It has been a tough journey, but here we are persevering the best way we can in 2021.

A few weeks ago, I watched Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom on Netflix, as millions of us have. It is an engaging and thought-provoking story that speaks on race, religion, the wealth gap, and the historic exploitation of black recording artists by white record executives. I’ve been a huge fan of August Wilson since reading his play, Fences at the age of nine- and re-reading it more than six times since then. If you haven’t read The Coldest Day of the Year or Two Trains Running, please stop reading this, type both titles (actually every piece of work he’s written) into Google, and pour over these amazing written works of art- then come back. There’s no question that August Wilson truly was the theater’s “poet of Black America,” but I digress.

There’s a dialogue in the second act/part of the movie from Ma Rainey, played by the marvelous, award-winning Viola Davis, to the leader of the band who is also the guitar and trombone player, Cutler, played by the award-winning actor Coleman Domingo (side note- he’s one of my favorite actors, have you caught up on the latest season of Euphoria?). You learn insight into how her record company views her and why she speaks to the executives any way she wants. “All they want is my voice. Well. I done learned that, and they gonna treat me like I want to be treated no matter how much it hurt them. They back there now calling me all kinds of names…calling me everything but a child of God. But they can’t do nothing else. They ain’t go what they wanted yet. As soon as they get my voice down on them recording machines, then it’s just like I’d be some whore, and they roll over and put their pants on. Ain’t got no use for me then.” The way Viola Davis delivers these lines hit me like a brick. So many individuals have had their talent and creativity drained from them by their jobs as if they are giving blood- myself included. Over the past couple of years, I took the time to learn that it has been my fault for not setting boundaries of what or how much a company or individuals can take from me- the word no is easier for some than others. So like Ma Rainey (minus a few explicative words), I too have clapped back to those who try to see how much they can stretch my capabilities. You’re smart, so I know you already know that whomever you work with/for, they need you just as much, if not more than you need them. If they didn’t need you, they wouldn’t have hired you for your skillset. Sure they can bring on someone else, but they want you, so teach them how you want to be treated. Of course, you want the agreed-upon work to be precise and complete on time, but don’t work to the point of exhaustion, don’t allow delayed payments of an invoice or paycheck, and don’t tolerate disrespect from anyone in any form.

I hope we all continue to build up our inner strength and loudly speak up for ourselves the way Ma Rainey did.

The original Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom Playbill from 1984.

Hidden Traits

The other day my sister (in law), Kai and I were speaking on how people perceive us as extroverts when we are actually the opposite. She has an infectious personality that you always want to be around. She’s funny, smart and can act her ass off, so you can see why people flock to her.  But she’s a quiet person who prefers at times to be home watching a movie, visiting family or enjoying a fun night of karaoke with her friends. For me, I’ve always had jobs where I’ve had to shake hands and smile nonstop, as well as go out all the time and put on a wonderful front for all to see.  But I’d like to come clean right now and say: Hello, my name is Brooke and I am a hidden introvert. I use the term “hidden”,  because that is what I’ve had to be. I would mask how I really was because of what I was told is needed in order to succeed at my jobs. To be honest I’m a HUGE germophobe. I absolutely do not like shaking strangers hands or talking at an event where you can barely hear the other person, so they invade your personal space with breath that smells like their mouth has been closed for a week after they ate hot dogs. Gross right? Exactly.  Please don’t get me wrong, I am a social person, I just have to be in the mood to be that way.

As the youngest child and the only girl, I felt the need to be seen growing up. I genuinely wanted to be in the mix of things, sneaking in corners to hear the adult conversations or hanging out with my older brothers (when they’d let me). I always wanted to be with my brothers because 1. I thought they were the coolest (don’t let it get to your heads fellas) and 2. If they were doing something I wanted to be included. As I grew up this quality didn’t go away, I mean if I could have earned a degree in socializing, I’d have my Bachelors right now. I had a self-inflicted fear of being forgotten, so I made sure to put my “extrovert mask” on at all times and only took it off when I was by myself.

As individuals in life, we all have many masks that we wear to get through our days and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. The people that know who you truly are is all that matters. Your job is to make sure that no matter what to always be true to you. The masks are just the courage you might need in a situation, like a superhero costume. Superman puts that costume on and saves the world each time, but when he takes it off, he’s Clark Kent. The thing is he’s always Clark Kent. With or without the Superman costume he’s always the same person deep down, the costume just frees his innate abilities. So when you need a little more to get you through a situation, go in the mirror and power pose for two minutes and know that you are just as powerful without anything added. In what situations did you feel you the need for more courage?

I mean…I am talking about masks…how can I not use a Jim Carrey image? It’s still funny to me.